MERRY MEET
This Web-Site is a collection of all that I am... all that I was...
and all that I hope to be.
And So We Begin...
My journey began
as child raised in a Catholic family. I went to Catholic schools and on Sundays we dutifly went to Church.
I loved religion classes and learning about the rituals and traditions of the Catholic Mass was particualry intreging
to me. However, I never really enjoyed going to Mass and when I entered into my late teens I wasn't attending often. The
guilt this produced lead me to start asking questions regarding the faith beliefs and practices. A certain
level of discontent began to emerge. But I still really enjoyed religious studies and always maintained a firm belief in God.
When I went to University I no longer had religion
classes and for the first time I had entered into a period of life with no spirituality. I missed it and tried to go back
to Mass but could not manage to find the connection I was looking for. Then after I had finished my third year of University
my Father passed away suddenly and young. Every ounce of anger that emerge from within me I directed towards God and
for the first time I had even questioned his existence. I then began my quest for the answer to the ultimate question,
WHY? My faith had taught me that the circumstances of our death is all part of God's plan for us and this we cannot
know until we join him. This left me feeling empty and I just couldn't understand what plan could be so important
that it couldn't wait. We still needed my Father and I also had two younger sisters that my Mom now had
to raise alone. What could have been so important. Over time I came to understand that we die because we die. It
is all part of a natural process. Everthing which lives dies and with no guarentee for longevity. I came
to believe that God, although he can, does not interfer with this process. He alone is the first to know when our time has
come and he alone is the first to cry. He then takes us into his eternal home where he then gives our death meaning
through his ultimate plan for us. Although I had managed some comfort I still found myself in a state of conflict.
I was now feeling even more estranged from the Catholic faith since my beliefs were continuing to diverge.
Now where was I to draw my strength from. So again I proceeded on a search for a faith I could belong to.
A year or so later I met
a Witch. Her name was Kathy. Before this I was not at all aware of Wicca or Witches. Well, I think I may have heard
that there were people out there that called themselves Witches but I had no idea what that meant. I met her a drop-in
centre for those living with a psychiatric illness. Here I was completing a student placement. Kathy was a Witch and
the implications of this on her psychiatric treatment was significant. For years she had been misdiagnosed with schizophrenia.
She believed she was Witch therefore she must be delusional. This was all the professionals heard. The childhood
trauma she had experience went unnoticed. It was years before someone really listened, removed her body of anti-psychotic
medications and recognized the real issue - Dissociative Disorder. Anyway, enough about her - after all this is About Me.
But really the story cannot continue without her as she was such a big part of my recovery after the loss my Father and huge
reason why I am on the spiritual path that I am on today. I must point out though that Kathy's being a Witch was not
a central part of our relationship. It was a part of who she was and I believed her. I never doubted her despite the
fact that she had a mental illness. And although I had figured out that being a Witch somehow represented her
religious orientation she never stated that she was Wiccan. Even now I can't say for sure that she was. Our relationship
really centered on the work we did together at the drop-in centre. Oh from time to time our discusion veered in that direction
but because I was a volunteer I did not really feel it proper to ask to many personal questions. Over time though we became
friends and spent time on a social level out side the centre. So one day I decided to ask her what her religion believed
about death and why my Father had to die so young. She looked at me and shook her head no. She then asked me "What
do you believe?" I was really somewhat shocked at first and remember wondering "Why, won't she tell me?" But I
proceeded to tell her how I thought that death is a part of the natural order of things but that this natural order does not
gaurantee a long life. She then noded yes and said, "Then their is your answer." I was confused though and asked her
"But how do I know it is true". She said "Because you believe it". She then proceeded to ask me, "Why are you looking
outside yourself for truth? Your truth, that which comes from within, is the strongest truth of all." Now this hit me
hard but at the same time actually made sence to me. Even the Catholic faith taught us that God is within us all
so yes, it did make sence that I could find the truth there within. This was a major turning point for me. But
it would be sometime yet before I learned of Wicca.
A year or so later, I
met Diva, a friend of my roommates, who was also a Witch. She had come to stay with us for awhile and had with her a number
of books on Wicca. As I read I began to realize that Kathy had told me what her religion believed. But she
left it up to me to figure that out.
The spirit of Wicca and other Pagan faiths resides
within us.
Where do I draw my strength? From the Path
that winds within my soul. Look Within.
This is biggests lesson ever taught me.
