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Sunday, 1 May 2005
Disconnect
Topic: My Spiritual Journey
My neighbors across the street celebrated the orthodox Easter today. I didn't even know there was an orthodox Easter until today. Anyway, it made we wonder if this was some connection to Beltanne. And then I wondered if the anchient people hunted for Easter eggs on Ostra or Beltanne. I thought this might be a silly thing to wonder since the ancient people probably did not celebrate Sabbats or relgious holidays like we do today. Eggs were an important symbol of fertility and they probably decorated them but I am not so sure they hunted for them. I don't know. Maybe they did. What I did realize though is that I am still a victum of modern societies disconnect. We have separated our religious lives from our everyday so much that we only consider colouring or hunting for Easter eggs only on Easter. Hot Cross Buns are only for sale a week or before Easter and once Easter's done that's it. For ancient people these activities were a part of everday life and done throughout the spring season. They celebrated the bounties of the season everyday.
BB Dana
Saturday, 30 April 2005
I Saw!!
Topic: That's Life
Oh My GOD! I just finished watching the movie Saw and all I can say is "OH MY GOD!!" I don't know what to say about this movie. It is incredibly gorry, disturbing and a tad bit annoying (there are a few parts in it that just want to make you say "Stupid"). I mean, I'm not sure why anybody would actually want to put themselves through this movie because it is really kind of torturous - and not just the premise of the movie but this is a movie that you just can't shake. The only reason I can think of is that it really is an awsome movie. I am expecting that there will be a sequal - if there is not then the torture just won't end. Anyway, I hope there is a sequal - well sort of.
Oh well, so much for sweet dreams tonight.
Sunday, 24 April 2005
Chandria
Mood:
 happy
Topic: Chandrian Chronicle
Today I completed my initiation into the Moon Maiden Circle of Chandria. The Chandrian Order is a mystical sisterhood whose mission is to cultivate women of beauty, power and truth. A woman of beauty loves herself. A woman of power believes in herself and a woman of truth knows herself. The order has no religious affiliation but there are many Wiccans/Pagans there who find themselves most at home. Chandria means moon and this is a Moonlit Order. Working with energies of the Moon is all part of the practices of Chandria. And this is something that we Wiccans are most accustomed to - of course!
Saturday, 16 April 2005
Off Course
Mood:
 down
Topic: My Spiritual Journey
I have been feeling disconnected from my Path. I have been wandering off course. At the beginning of this year I decided to take a break from my Witch School studies and begin a new journey of learning and self reflection. I had decided to proceed with the five-degree system by Shanddaramon. However, there has been so much change at work and concerns about my youngest son have come to the forefront. It has been a difficult year. Life has become unbalanced and I have become unglued. My spiritual practice has also been scattered. I barely begin my new journey and then I begin this web-site. I have enjoyed working on this web site but it has become unfocused, vering off into every sector of my life, becoming as scattered as my life is. The intent of this website was to reflect the spiritual journey that I was about embark on. So you will notice that I have begun to remove parts of this web site that don't relate directly to my spiritual journey. I need this to be a place of retreat. A place where I go and be at PEACE and rest. A place where I can get away from the chaos and troubles of my everyday life. This is what will help me to stay grounded. I have also started meditating before I go to bed again and I have been sleeping a bit better. I also joined a new group - Chandria - on the internet. See, I tell ya, I am just here there and everywhere - and getting no where. It is a place just for the ladies, young to old, to come together and share this journey of life together. It has no religious affiliation but there are many there who are pagan/wiccan. Anyway, I was beginning to wonder if I should drop out of Chandria. This was supposed to be a year when I start my own personal journey but that is all part of Chandria - so I decided to stay. And so far I am happy for it.
Saturday, 2 April 2005
Farwell to the Pope
Mood:
 sad
Topic: My Spiritual Journey
The passing of Pope John Paul II has provided opportunity for me to reflect on the course of my own spiritual journey. I was about nine years old when our previous Pope had died and John Paul II became our new Pope. I remember it well. I was raised Catholic and attended Catholic school. So needless to say this was a big deal and even on a personal level it grabbed my attention. At this point in my life I had not questioned my faith. I had accepted it all quite matter of factly. Being Catholic was simply just another facet of who I was and without question. Just as I am English, Irish, Scottish, Maltese and Egyptian -I was Catholic. It wasn't until my late teens when I began to question. But as I reflect on those questions I know now that it wasn't really those things I disagreed with but the disconnect I felt that left me feeling empty. When I was growing up I loved religion class. I loved learning about the Bible and Jesus. I even loved learning about Mass and the significance of its ritual elements. I loved learning about the sacraments and recieving them - well for the most part. I think it was confession that lead my rebellion but again not until my late teens. But going to Church was never something that struck any sort of spiritual cord in me. Now in my late teens I had gone off to University and that did not involve any religious education. I would think about going to Church and tried on several occasions to make this a part of life but to know avail. I felt like I was just going through the motions and without Church I didn't know what else to draw on since I no longer had my religious studies. My Father died in my early twenties and again I had nothing from my Catholic faith to draw on. Church seemed to me the centre of the Catholic faith and its what housed everything including strength. The death of my Father deepened the wedge between me and being Catholic and not only that it also created a wedge between me and God. All of my anger went toward God and I even started questioning his existence. For the first time in my life I had doubted the existence of God. I gone from full acceptance without question to questioning everything and dening all acceptance. I then met a Witch and learned that the house of my faith was inside me. Look Within - this is where your God is, this where your strength resides. Never fear to question but look within the house of your soul for your answers are there.
The passing of the Pope has brought me back to when I was that young girl you accepted without question. And actually it is a really neat feeling. Now that I am at peace with my faith I now accept my Catholic unbringing as a wonderful part of my spiritual history. Experiences in our past contribute to who we are today and that little girl of my past is still treasured in my heart today.
Even after my first introduction to the Pagan path it took me awhile to committ this journey. It was hard to let go of my Catholic past and it was awhile before I was truely able to look within and discover that I don't have to let go of everything that I believed in order to become Pagan. This is a personal jouney. It is ok to question and accept what is there within you. The passing of the Pope represents the passing of that little girl who never questioned and accepted everything and the passing of that young adult you questioned everything but accepted nothing. Now I question when necessary and accept what is within Me. When we can do this we then realize that others too are acting in accordance to what is housed in their soul. Tolerance and acceptance of all develops and for me this includes the Catholic faith which in my young adult years I looked at with only intolerance. The Pope reached out to other faiths and only wanted peace and love between the faiths. He was truly a great man.
The Popes passing marks the end of chapter in my religous journey. It is like I am that much less Catholic now. I will miss that little girl but I will also move forward with the strength that resides within.
Saturday, 19 March 2005
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PETER!!
Mood:
 party time!
Topic: That's Life
MY oldest baby is 10 years old today! (Well actually yesterday - but we are celebrating today!)
Can hardly believe it!
We have a lot of family coming over for dinner tonight so I am cooking up storm.
Blog ya later!!
Friday, 18 March 2005
OK, I 'm Fly
Mood:
 on fire
Topic: That's Life
Well, for a day anyway. This morning I got up and got ready first thing. No shoes though!! And I did slip in making coffee and taking a peek at the internet between the other items on my morning routine. But not bad for a first day. And I even bleached the sink (and dish rack) as Fly Lady recommends. I did this before I headed out to get Peter and when we got back I finished the job.
Now I have to admit that today was no big effort really because we had to get up and get moving anyway. We had to meet my Mom on the 401 so we could get Peter and my niece, Kylie. The real test will be on a day with no real plans.
When we got home I continued to clean which is really against Fly Lady's rule of taking baby steps but we have company coming tomorrow for Peter's Birthday! The house is cleaner then it has been in a long while I tell ya.
Feels good.
Thursday, 17 March 2005
Could I be a Fly Girl?
Mood:
 quizzical
Topic: That's Life
No I don't mean a dancer on the already cancelled show "In Living Color" (although, if I could turn back time...Not likely!).
I mean... Can I eliminate chaos from my house? Can I maintain a clean and organized home? Can I be a Fly House Keeper? (LOL) God, I don't know if I even want to be. All I know is that I hate house work and can use all the help I can get. So I signed up for Fly Lady. Do I hear gasps of horror??
For those of you who have not heard of Fly Lady and think you might be interested (in self torture) here is the link:
Fly Lady
Fly Lady is big on Baby Steps so here are my first steps:
As soon as I get up:
1. Get dressed down to my shoes.
2. Make my bed.
3. Shine my sink.
And this is before coffee and the internet!! This is going to hurt. I am not a morning person. And on the weekends I am not much of person when I first get up no matter what time I get up!
Now the shoe thing (ya this is going to go well - I am already rebelling!) I am not wearing shoes all day in my house so I can feel professional. That is the last thing I want to feel when I am at home. But I will try the rest of it. That will be hard enough. I am not one to do my make-up and hair on a Saturday unless I have plans to venture.
And make my bed! No I don't make my bed (so obviously the kids don't either).
Now shine the sink? I am just going to make sure the dishes are done. This one believe it or not will be the easiest (I do have some standards).
Well... got to Fly!
Wednesday, 16 March 2005
Recovering
Mood:
 smelly
Topic: That's Life
Nathan made it through the night alright. Although he was more energetic today his stamina was not quite there. He went shopping with my husband tonight and was excited about going but my husband said that he had to cut it short because it was obvious that Nathan was tiring. I think though that he will improve with each day.
I spoke to my Mom briefly tonight and she said that Peter is doing wonderfully. As I started to mention in yesterday's blog Peter is with my Mom for the week as it is the March Break. I took the week off to enjoy some quite time with Nathan. Too bad we have been less then well.
Despite the set backs we have still managed to put some finishing touches on our living room and should be ready for company on Saturday. We have not been able to have people over for about a year now due to a water leak we had last spring. Since then we have been doing one renovation after another - some out of necessity and some because you might as well. I finally feel like I have my house back.
Tuesday, 15 March 2005
Mood:
smelly
Topic: That's Life
I am not really smelly. I am just sick and I have had very little sleep. So I kind of feel smelly. Hold on...maybe I am smelly. Oh well. My youngest son, Nathan was sick last night too. Which is why I had very little sleep, of course. I hope he does alright tonight. He has croop and the nights can often be the most difficult, although he has been to the hospital during the day with it before. We managed to elude the hospital last night. My husband took him out for a drive in the cold and he slept the rest of the night downstairs in the family room. It's really cold down here without the fire on. Nathan has not moved from the couch all day today and his cough is still pretty rough. I hate croop. It is just way too scary.
My oldest son, Peter went to spend the rest of the week with my Mother. She lives about an hour and half from here. She also has my niece, Kylie.
Oh no Nathan has just been sick to his stomach.
See ya!
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